GRATULERA
SÅ MASSE
MED DAGEN
KJÆRE!!!
:D:D:D:D:D:D
Ha ein fantastisk dag =)
Eg elske deg kjære<3
6 måneder siden
søndag, november 15, 2009
onsdag, november 04, 2009
Glad i matte?
Når eg sitte i timen og sitte å tenke på matte, og komme fram te ein formel eg synst virke spennande...Dei talla eg testa med, så stemme det vertfall. Det va ganske tøft:D
x*x = ((x-n) * (x+n)) + n*n
F.eks:
9*9 = 7*11 + 2*2 = 81
34*34 = 30 * 38 + 4*4 = 30 * 38 + 1*7 + 3*3 =
Eg synst vertfall det va veldig tøft!:D
x*x = ((x-n) * (x+n)) + n*n
F.eks:
9*9 = 7*11 + 2*2 = 81
34*34 = 30 * 38 + 4*4 = 30 * 38 + 1*7 + 3*3 =
Eg synst vertfall det va veldig tøft!:D
torsdag, oktober 29, 2009
Go for it!
Utdrag fra en artikkel jeg kom over..
1. De ble avvist av plateselskapet, som sa: “Vi liker ikke soundet deres… og gitarmusikk er på vei ut!”- The Beatles
2. Han ble tatt av skolens basketballag, kom gråtende hjem og låste seg inne på rommet.- Michael Jordan
3. Læreren fortalte ham at han var for dum til å lære noe som helst, så han sluttet på skolen etter kun 3 måneder.- Thomas Edison
4. Ble sparket fra en avis fordi han… (les dette)… MANGLET fantasi… og hadde “ingen kreative idéer”… - Walt Disney
5. Hans forlovede døde, han feilet i business to ganger, han hadde et nervøst sammenbrudd og ble slått i åtte valg.- Abraham Lincoln
6. Hadde på et tidspunkt nesten 3,5 milliarder dollar i businessgjeld…- Donald Trump
7. Startet med 1300 dollar han ikke egentlig hadde, ble senere sparket ut av sitt eget firma, men kom tilbake…- Steve Jobs
8. I en alder av 21 ble han fortalt at han hadde ett år igjen å leve… Kan ikke snakke eller bevege seg uten mekanisk hjelp…- Stephen Hawking
9. Ble født av en 14 år gammel mor som forlot henne… Ble seksuelt misbrukt av familiemedlemmer flere ganger… Ble selv gravid i en alder av 14, men babyen var dødfødt………. Men jammen kom hun seg gjennom det hele…- Oprah Winfrey
10. Fikk testikkelkreft som spredde seg til lunger og hjerne… Ble rådet til å forberede seg til slutten… For så å “helbrede” seg selv og vinne 7 Tour de France…- Lance Armstrong
11. Vart forfulgt, pint og hengt på et kors...Tror ikke det er nødvendig å si hvor mye han har gjort for oss... - Jesus
Mottoet er at uansett hvilke utgangspunkt du har, kan du oppnå hva du enn måtte ønske. Det er ingenting som virkelig holder deg igjen. Stol på Gud, og tørr å tro at han vil hjelpe deg gjennom det, uansett hva det skulle være. Er det noe du er redd for å prøve/gjøre, ikke vær redd for å gi det en sjans. Det er ingenting som holder deg igjen, untatt deg selv.
1. De ble avvist av plateselskapet, som sa: “Vi liker ikke soundet deres… og gitarmusikk er på vei ut!”- The Beatles
2. Han ble tatt av skolens basketballag, kom gråtende hjem og låste seg inne på rommet.- Michael Jordan
3. Læreren fortalte ham at han var for dum til å lære noe som helst, så han sluttet på skolen etter kun 3 måneder.- Thomas Edison
4. Ble sparket fra en avis fordi han… (les dette)… MANGLET fantasi… og hadde “ingen kreative idéer”… - Walt Disney
5. Hans forlovede døde, han feilet i business to ganger, han hadde et nervøst sammenbrudd og ble slått i åtte valg.- Abraham Lincoln
6. Hadde på et tidspunkt nesten 3,5 milliarder dollar i businessgjeld…- Donald Trump
7. Startet med 1300 dollar han ikke egentlig hadde, ble senere sparket ut av sitt eget firma, men kom tilbake…- Steve Jobs
8. I en alder av 21 ble han fortalt at han hadde ett år igjen å leve… Kan ikke snakke eller bevege seg uten mekanisk hjelp…- Stephen Hawking
9. Ble født av en 14 år gammel mor som forlot henne… Ble seksuelt misbrukt av familiemedlemmer flere ganger… Ble selv gravid i en alder av 14, men babyen var dødfødt………. Men jammen kom hun seg gjennom det hele…- Oprah Winfrey
10. Fikk testikkelkreft som spredde seg til lunger og hjerne… Ble rådet til å forberede seg til slutten… For så å “helbrede” seg selv og vinne 7 Tour de France…- Lance Armstrong
11. Vart forfulgt, pint og hengt på et kors...Tror ikke det er nødvendig å si hvor mye han har gjort for oss... - Jesus
Mottoet er at uansett hvilke utgangspunkt du har, kan du oppnå hva du enn måtte ønske. Det er ingenting som virkelig holder deg igjen. Stol på Gud, og tørr å tro at han vil hjelpe deg gjennom det, uansett hva det skulle være. Er det noe du er redd for å prøve/gjøre, ikke vær redd for å gi det en sjans. Det er ingenting som holder deg igjen, untatt deg selv.
torsdag, oktober 01, 2009
lørdag, september 05, 2009
torsdag, august 20, 2009
Mykje bra denne sommaren
Sommaren nærmar seg slutten, og eg har ikkje så mykje å klaga på. Derimot har eg ganske mykje eg kan gleda meg over, for denne sommaren har vore veldig innholdsrik og kjekk! Eg veit nesten ikkje heilt kor eg skal byrja, for mange av dykk er dette allereie kjent, men eg har nå lyst å oppsumera litt fordet:)
Studiet mitt har til tider vore litt surr. I utgangspunktet hadde eg tenkt meg til Trondheim, på NTNU, men under søkeprosessen skifta eg til Stavanger og UiS. Lite viste eg kossen det kom te å gå dei neste tri årå, men det kjem eg tilbake til :) Eg enda opp på datateknikk på UiS, og fekk ein grei slutt på bachelorgraden min.
Eg og Oddvar fekk levert ei oppgåve som me va så å sei veldig fornøgde med. Det var veldig spennande å gå i sommar og venta på denne karakteren, men det som venter på noe godt, venter ikkje forgjevest. I frykt for å jinxa karakteren min, turde eg ikkje tru på ein A, men innerst inne håpa eg jo på å dra i land ein toppkarakter! Me enda jo også opp me ein A, og det var utrolig herlig, spessielt itte mange lange dager på pclabben:)
I fjord vår, og også sommer var planlegging av viderutdanning i gang. Drømmen om USA og trainee stilling der var det som trakk. Snakking med spessielt Tor Inge(bror min) og enkelte onkler/tanter, gjorde fristelsen enda større. Men lite viste eg da at interessene mine ville forandrast om eit kort halvår. Starten av sommaren 2008 jobba eg i Telenor, og koste meg der, spessielt på kveldsvakter og helgevakter.
Det var fredag, klokka nærma seg me stormskritt helg, det var nøyaktig 38 min igjen av vakta mi og lite ante eg at denne kommentaren sko forandra så mykje:
Tore til Susanne: "Eg sitte på jobb å kjede meg! Kæ du gjær på, si du kjede deg? ingenting? :p Kossen har du det? Mykje jobbing eller mykje avslapping? :D"
Lite viste eg at denne lille kommentaren sko utvikla seg te det det gjorde. Respons fekk eg på 10 min:D
Susanne til Tore:"Gjør lite og ingenting, e vel egentlig d eg har gjort i heila dag, så nå begynne d å bli ganske kjedelig! Har hatt ferie nå de siste to ukene, va ei uka i Hellas så d va jo konge:D men angre på at eg tok meg fri denne ukå, for det har vert lite å gjø...r på. D virke av og til som alle andre jobbe... Neste uka e d tilbake på jobb då, ein herlig avveksling;PKoss e d med deg? Jobbe du møye? Ka forresten du jobbe med?"
Iløpet av kvelden hadde det gått 18 beskjeda fram og tilbake, og hadde ikkje Susanne stukke ut på kvelden ser eg for meg endå fleire ^^ Siste kommentaren frå hu kom kvart på 2 på natta :P
Dette utvikla seg utover sommaren, og tankane mine om USA-studie vart merkelig nok erstatta med ein stadig aukande forelskelse. Og eg trur andre begynte å legga merke te aktiviteten mellom oss, for 100 meldinga på facebook e vel ikkje så veldig vanskelig å legga merke te. Oppi mot 30 sms fram og tilbake på ein kveld mens eg er på middag hos bror min kan vel og leggast til i den :P (Eg håpe det gjekk greit Tor Inge;):))
Det tok oss ikkej så mange filmkveldar(4 for å være eksakt((Ja, okay, så va det du som inviterte deg sjøl te meg:p Men eg e veldig glad for at du gjord det Susanne<3)>), før me var i saman:)
Eg blei tatt imot me åpne armar hjå familien te Susanne, og allereie etter 2 månedar kom mora og spure om eg ville væra med til Hellas med dei. Skummelt, tidlig, veldig skummelt, sa eg skummelt?, men framleis veldig kjekt å bli spurt! Me snakka litt om det, og hadde begge lyst at eg sko væra me, så fekk me se kossen det gjekk framøve:)
Det falle litt utenfor historien om utdanninga mi, men det falt naturlig inn å skriva om turen her, for det var eit av høgdepunkta denne sommaren. Utan tvil! Det var kjempekoseleg og veldig kjekt å få bli endå betre kjent med mor og søskna til Susanne:) Takk for at du spure om eg ville væra med, Marianne, og takk for at du turte ta meg me, allereie i oktober, Susanne:)
Ittekvert som året gjekk begynte eg på ny å tenka på kva eg skulle til høsten. USA hadde eg slått ifrå meg, og eg såg meir å meir for meg å gå ut i fast jobb. Men ittekvert når deadline på søkinga nærma seg, gjekk det opp for meg at eg ikkje ønska å gå ut i fast jobb endå. Eg va mykje meir klar for master, så derfor søkte eg meg inn på master i datateknikk, her på UiS. Til skrekk å gru fekk eg vita at det berre var 10 plasser, blant 30 søkara. Så halve sommaren gjekk eg å smågrua meg på om eg kom inn eller ikkje. MEN eg kom inn! Og endå eit høgdepunkt denne sommaren!:D
Eg var veldig seint ute med å søka etter sommerjobb, sidan eg ønska meg litt ferie, før ein evt. fast stilling. Derfor tok deg meg ei stund før eg byrja å søka på sommerjobb. Også her vart det litt stress, for svara kom inn negative, det eine etter det andre, og andre gonger fekk eg ikkje svar i det heile tatt. Men eg fekk til slutt jobb i Securitas, som vekter på flyplassen. Til tross for grusomt tidlege vakter som byrja 04.30, så gjekk det fint. Penger i kassen blir det uansett, og eg er stort sett veldig flink til å tilpasse døgrytmen. Sjølv om eg tar igjen timane med søvn etter eg kjem heim frå jobb.
Denne sommerjobben har og utvikla seg til å bli ein liten deltidsjobb, der eg jobbe fast torsdager, og det blir litt jobbing i helger også. Men fokuset mitt er framleis på skulen. Så eg vil ikkje binda meg med meir enn det.
Forholdet til Susanne og meg har og utvikla seg veldig. Det største i heile sommer, er utan tvil forlovelsen, den 15 July :D:D:D!!!111oneone:D:D Eg glede meg te eit liv med deg, og ser eit utrolig potensial i oss:) Eg elske deg Susanne:) Eg hadde vist ei god stund at det var den rette jenta, men eg ville fri på den rette tida, og væra sikker på å få eit ja:)
Siste men ikkje minst, så feire me eit år idag!!! Året har faktisk gått veldig fort, og eg glede meg te mange mange flerne år med deg, Susanne:D Snakka med deg, le med deg, klemma deg, holda deg i handa, grina med deg, kosa med pannen din, kyssa deg, se film med deg, lesa bob i samme sofa som deg....Bara ver der med deg, leva med deg, oppleva resten av livet med deg. Og ikkje minst dela sama truå med deg, og vita at han passe på oss uansett ka som skjer! :) Eg elske deg:)
Eg glede meg te å feira dagen med deg!:D Gratulera!:):):)
Din Tore
Studiet mitt har til tider vore litt surr. I utgangspunktet hadde eg tenkt meg til Trondheim, på NTNU, men under søkeprosessen skifta eg til Stavanger og UiS. Lite viste eg kossen det kom te å gå dei neste tri årå, men det kjem eg tilbake til :) Eg enda opp på datateknikk på UiS, og fekk ein grei slutt på bachelorgraden min.
Eg og Oddvar fekk levert ei oppgåve som me va så å sei veldig fornøgde med. Det var veldig spennande å gå i sommar og venta på denne karakteren, men det som venter på noe godt, venter ikkje forgjevest. I frykt for å jinxa karakteren min, turde eg ikkje tru på ein A, men innerst inne håpa eg jo på å dra i land ein toppkarakter! Me enda jo også opp me ein A, og det var utrolig herlig, spessielt itte mange lange dager på pclabben:)
I fjord vår, og også sommer var planlegging av viderutdanning i gang. Drømmen om USA og trainee stilling der var det som trakk. Snakking med spessielt Tor Inge(bror min) og enkelte onkler/tanter, gjorde fristelsen enda større. Men lite viste eg da at interessene mine ville forandrast om eit kort halvår. Starten av sommaren 2008 jobba eg i Telenor, og koste meg der, spessielt på kveldsvakter og helgevakter.
Det var fredag, klokka nærma seg me stormskritt helg, det var nøyaktig 38 min igjen av vakta mi og lite ante eg at denne kommentaren sko forandra så mykje:
Tore til Susanne: "Eg sitte på jobb å kjede meg! Kæ du gjær på, si du kjede deg? ingenting? :p Kossen har du det? Mykje jobbing eller mykje avslapping? :D"
Lite viste eg at denne lille kommentaren sko utvikla seg te det det gjorde. Respons fekk eg på 10 min:D
Susanne til Tore:"Gjør lite og ingenting, e vel egentlig d eg har gjort i heila dag, så nå begynne d å bli ganske kjedelig! Har hatt ferie nå de siste to ukene, va ei uka i Hellas så d va jo konge:D men angre på at eg tok meg fri denne ukå, for det har vert lite å gjø...r på. D virke av og til som alle andre jobbe... Neste uka e d tilbake på jobb då, ein herlig avveksling;PKoss e d med deg? Jobbe du møye? Ka forresten du jobbe med?"
Iløpet av kvelden hadde det gått 18 beskjeda fram og tilbake, og hadde ikkje Susanne stukke ut på kvelden ser eg for meg endå fleire ^^ Siste kommentaren frå hu kom kvart på 2 på natta :P
Dette utvikla seg utover sommaren, og tankane mine om USA-studie vart merkelig nok erstatta med ein stadig aukande forelskelse. Og eg trur andre begynte å legga merke te aktiviteten mellom oss, for 100 meldinga på facebook e vel ikkje så veldig vanskelig å legga merke te. Oppi mot 30 sms fram og tilbake på ein kveld mens eg er på middag hos bror min kan vel og leggast til i den :P (Eg håpe det gjekk greit Tor Inge;):))
Det tok oss ikkej så mange filmkveldar(4 for å være eksakt((Ja, okay, så va det du som inviterte deg sjøl te meg:p Men eg e veldig glad for at du gjord det Susanne<3)>), før me var i saman:)
Eg blei tatt imot me åpne armar hjå familien te Susanne, og allereie etter 2 månedar kom mora og spure om eg ville væra med til Hellas med dei. Skummelt, tidlig, veldig skummelt, sa eg skummelt?, men framleis veldig kjekt å bli spurt! Me snakka litt om det, og hadde begge lyst at eg sko væra me, så fekk me se kossen det gjekk framøve:)
Det falle litt utenfor historien om utdanninga mi, men det falt naturlig inn å skriva om turen her, for det var eit av høgdepunkta denne sommaren. Utan tvil! Det var kjempekoseleg og veldig kjekt å få bli endå betre kjent med mor og søskna til Susanne:) Takk for at du spure om eg ville væra med, Marianne, og takk for at du turte ta meg me, allereie i oktober, Susanne:)
Ittekvert som året gjekk begynte eg på ny å tenka på kva eg skulle til høsten. USA hadde eg slått ifrå meg, og eg såg meir å meir for meg å gå ut i fast jobb. Men ittekvert når deadline på søkinga nærma seg, gjekk det opp for meg at eg ikkje ønska å gå ut i fast jobb endå. Eg va mykje meir klar for master, så derfor søkte eg meg inn på master i datateknikk, her på UiS. Til skrekk å gru fekk eg vita at det berre var 10 plasser, blant 30 søkara. Så halve sommaren gjekk eg å smågrua meg på om eg kom inn eller ikkje. MEN eg kom inn! Og endå eit høgdepunkt denne sommaren!:D
Eg var veldig seint ute med å søka etter sommerjobb, sidan eg ønska meg litt ferie, før ein evt. fast stilling. Derfor tok deg meg ei stund før eg byrja å søka på sommerjobb. Også her vart det litt stress, for svara kom inn negative, det eine etter det andre, og andre gonger fekk eg ikkje svar i det heile tatt. Men eg fekk til slutt jobb i Securitas, som vekter på flyplassen. Til tross for grusomt tidlege vakter som byrja 04.30, så gjekk det fint. Penger i kassen blir det uansett, og eg er stort sett veldig flink til å tilpasse døgrytmen. Sjølv om eg tar igjen timane med søvn etter eg kjem heim frå jobb.
Denne sommerjobben har og utvikla seg til å bli ein liten deltidsjobb, der eg jobbe fast torsdager, og det blir litt jobbing i helger også. Men fokuset mitt er framleis på skulen. Så eg vil ikkje binda meg med meir enn det.
Forholdet til Susanne og meg har og utvikla seg veldig. Det største i heile sommer, er utan tvil forlovelsen, den 15 July :D:D:D!!!111oneone:D:D Eg glede meg te eit liv med deg, og ser eit utrolig potensial i oss:) Eg elske deg Susanne:) Eg hadde vist ei god stund at det var den rette jenta, men eg ville fri på den rette tida, og væra sikker på å få eit ja:)
Siste men ikkje minst, så feire me eit år idag!!! Året har faktisk gått veldig fort, og eg glede meg te mange mange flerne år med deg, Susanne:D Snakka med deg, le med deg, klemma deg, holda deg i handa, grina med deg, kosa med pannen din, kyssa deg, se film med deg, lesa bob i samme sofa som deg....Bara ver der med deg, leva med deg, oppleva resten av livet med deg. Og ikkje minst dela sama truå med deg, og vita at han passe på oss uansett ka som skjer! :) Eg elske deg:)
Eg glede meg te å feira dagen med deg!:D Gratulera!:):):)
Din Tore
onsdag, august 19, 2009
Kos på jobb
Eg sitte på jobb, med masse dødtid. Ittekvert kan ein bli litt lei av å lesa bok, så eg søkte litt rundt på nett. Ittekvert kom eg øve ei oppsumering av Transformers 2, lagt opp som eit intervju. Det va rett å slett kanonbra, intervjuet altså! Filmen hadde eg store planer om å se..
Artikkelen ligger på http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/bonus_robs_transformers_2_faqs.php
It dawned on me at about 4am last night when I was finishing my review that 2500 words might not be enough to fully describe the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen experience. Additionally, I really didn't get much into the plot, as I was so busy explaining why it was a fundamentally shitty movie. So I took a little time to interview myself about the movie's story in order to help you understand what RotF is all about. Hope it helps!
Are there honestly 46 new Transformers in the movie?
I have no fucking clue. It's impossible to tell most of them apart except for Optimus and the Racist Twins (there's another yellow Autobot who I constantly thought was Bumblebee). There could be 46, or there could be 12. I honestly would believe 12 if someone had said that.
What is the status of the Transformers at the beginning of the film?The Autobots have joined the military to hunt down the Decepticons. We're told the Decepticons are "doing things," but they appear to be hiding peacefully when the Autobots show up and brutally murder them.
What?
Yeah. The Decepticons aren't apparently doing anything, then the Autobots show up, the Decepticons run for their goddamn lives, and the Autobots hunt them down and brutally murder them. It's kind of weird.
Why is the U.S. military helping them?
Supposedly to help keep the Transformers a secret from the public. Although since the climax of the last film was a massive firefight involving 50-foot robots and took place over five miles of downtown Los Angeles and the beginning of this film wrecks several miles of Shanghai, China, they seem to be incredibly shitty at their job.
How does the U.S. military help them?
Well, not at all, actually. They just kind of come along with guns and stuff, and act like they're going to help, but the Autobots do all the work.
Why is the U.S. military in this movie at all, then?
Because Michael Bay has a huge erection for jets and tanks and aircraft carriers and considers giant robots only a necessary evil for the film. At least 15 full minutes of the film's 150-minute run time is nothing but footage of jets and tanks and planes without any robots or actual action whatsoever.
How is Sam Witwicky dragged back into the fight?
Well, he finds a fragment of the Allspark shard. You know, the Allspark that he spent all last movie being told he shouldn't give to Megatron, but when he gave it to Megatron, it killed Megatron. That one. Anyways, the shard makes the Beef see symbols and act like more of an spaz than usual.
So the Decepticons want the shard? Why?
Uh... to bring Megatron back to life?
What?
That's what they said.
But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie.
Yes.
...and now it can also bring him back to life.
It's very powerful, this Allspark.
Uh-huh. So what's their plan to get it?
They send a small R/C car who talks like Joe Pesci in Casino to get it.
Shouldn't they have sent Starscream or somebody?
Look, there's another Allspark shard and get that one anyways, so it doesn't matter.
Well, then why do they give a shit about Sam?
The symbols. In his head. That the shard of the Allspark gave him.
They weren't in the other shard?
Apparently not.
So how do the Decepticons plan to get the symbols, I guess?
Well, the Decepticons have very cunningly created a hot chick robot who they enrolled in the same college and put in the same astronomy class as Sam. And they made her a huge slut.
Wait.
Waiting.
There's a slutty Decepticon?
Yeah, she's a real ho. The Decepticons apparently have an incredibly powerful slut-making program, because she has it down, man. Anyways--
Didn't Sam touch the shard and get the symbols stuck in his head on his first day of college?
Yes.
So the Decepticons made a slutty robot to attend his college and enrolled her in classes and put her in on-campus housing just in case Sam ended up being important at some point in the future?
Apparently. It was an elaborate plan, but it sure paid off.
How so?
Well, not at all. The slut-bot made out with him for a little bit then immediately tried to kill him, neither for any apparent motive or gain.
It sounds preposterous.
Doesn't matter, because the Decepticons use the shard piece they do have to resurrect Megatron! He's back! Ooo! Scary!
Why is this scary? All he wanted was the Allspark, and now it's gone.
...because he has a boss! He's called the Fallen, because he's so evil! He has an evil plan to use a machine on Earth to blow up the sun and make energon! Or something! It's not very clear.
Now you're just making shit up as you go along, aren't you?
Best not to think too much about it. Anyways, the symbols in the Beef's head are a map to where this machine exists, so the hunt is on and Sam shortly is captured by other, less slutty Decepticons in one of the many instances where Bumblebee inexplicably abandons the Beef so he can conveniently be in trouble.
Then a robot called the Doctor who speaks gibberish with a German accent shoves things up Shia's nose and gets the symbols.
That's that, then, right? The Decepticons win?
No! Because Optimus Prime saves Sam before they cut off his head, which has another treasure inside!
Really? What is that?
No one really bothers to explain this, actually. Suffice to say, the Decepticons continue to want Sam. Oh, then Optimus Prime fights three Decepticons at once and dies.
Where the hell were the other Autobots during this fight?
I don't know. They were with him before the fight, but then they disappear and show up right after he dies. But they appear sad about Optimus dying. Marginally. I mean, they don't get any screen time or dialogue to convey any feelings or anything, but there's some sad music playing for a little bit afterwards. I assume this means the robots that are off-screen are grieving.
Well, if one shard brought Megatron back to life, can't Sam just use his shard piece to resurrect Optimus?
Yes. He could.
...
...
Well?
He doesn't.
Why not?
I'm not sure exactly.
Then what the hell does he do?
He decides get those symbols that were in his head translated to figure out what the Fallen's up to.
Which Autobot does the translating?
Err... none of them. Actually, it's John Turturro.
What. The fuck.
Yeah, since he was laid off from his super-secret government agent job, he now works in a NY deli and runs a super-popular Transformers conspiracy theory website. Like ya do.
And why couldn't an Autobot translate these symbols?Because Bumblebee is mute and the Racist Twins are poor black robots from the slums of Cybertron who never learned how to read. It's a sad commentary on Cybertronian society. Like The Wire, actually.
Where the hell are the other Autobots?
I don't know. Away. They seem to be unable to be reached. They're probably grieving about Optimnus still. Clearly, John Turturro is the reasonable solution here.
So Turturro translates the symbols.
No, that would be silly. He does, in an incredibly bizarre series of connect-the-dots, lead them to Jetfire, an elderly and deceased Transformers whose corpse is hanging out in the Air & Space Museum.
What good is he dead?!
Ah! Remember the shard? Sam uses it to bring Jetfire back to life!
Not Optimus?
No! This way, Sam can get the symbols translated... so he can, er... find the ancient machine... that can, uh... possibly bring Optimus back to life.
You have to fucking be kidding me.
Moving on! Jetfire teleports everyone to Egypt, including some of the missing Autobots --
Wait, what? Teleports?
Yes, teleports.
Transformers don't teleport.
Jetfire does.
But -- wait a second, he's a fucking jet. He could fly everybody to Egypt, right? And that would make perfect sense for both the character and the franchise!
Well, I guess so. But he chooses not to. The point is Jetfire teleports them all to Egypt where he explains that there used to be 7 or 8 Primes, and they traveled around the galaxy blowing up suns for energon. But they never did it on planets with life.
Well, they had set the machine up on Earth and not noticed all the life running around, and one of the Primes just said fuck it, let's do it anyways. This was evil, so they called that Prime the Fallen and beat the shit out of him although he escaped.
Okay...
So that other mysterious reason that the Decepticons wanted Sam's brain? It's because it contains some very vague clues about the Matrix of Leacdership, which is the device that turns on the sun-exploding machine. The Fallen needs the Matrix to blow up the sun and get his Energon.
Hold on. That's what the Matrix of Leadership does in the movie?
Yes. Works the sun-exploding machine.
I'm fuzzy on how "Leadership" covers that.
I didn't name it. But it does sound a little nicer than "Matrix of Blowing Up the Goddamn Sun."
If I may continue, in order to protect the Earth, the 6-7 other Prime hid the Matrix on Earth and made a tomb with their own bodies. Isn't that cool?
...
...
No. No it is not. If they wanted to protect Earth, why did they leave the Matrix on the planet? They're a space-faring race, they could have hid it anywhere in galaxy! Second of all, what the fuck does making a tomb of their own bodies do? Shouldn't they have stayed alive to protect the Matrix? Or finish off the Fallen? Or just not die and leave Earth and the entire Transformer race in jeopardy?
Uh...
And why hide the Matrix at all? Don't they need Energon to survive? Didn't they say they go to other lifeless planets? These idiot Primes just doomed their whole species for no fucking reason whatsoever! No wonder the Decepticons are so pissed.
...ahem. Eventually, Sam and crew find the Matrix, which instantly crumbles into dust. Sam puts the dust in a sock because he thinks it will bring Optimus back to life.
Grr.
What follows is the most spectacular part of the movie, as Sam and Mikaela try to run the several miles back to the military camp during a massive Decepticon attack where the military has dropped Optimus Prime's corpse.
Why is that awesome? They could drive back in one of the Autobots and be there in a minute or two.
They don't do that.
What?
They walk.
Of course they do. And I assume the Autobots just mysteriously disappear again until a second before a Decepticon is about to kill Sam.
Yes. Exactly.
I am already incredibly sick of this movie, and I'm just typing questions about it. Sam resurrects Optimus, Optimus kills the Fallen, end of story, right?
Pretty close. Sam dies, though.
Really?
Yeah, for a little while. But then the Transformers in heaven send him back because he still has work to do.
Fuck you.
I'm serious.
Fuck you. There's no way.
It's true. The 6-7 Primes are there in the clouds like Mufasa's head in The Lion King, and tell Sam he's awesome and he needs to live again so he can bring Optimus back to life.
I may be ill.
Then Jetfire appears out of nowhere and rips out his own heart right in front of Optimus to give him his elderly old robot powers. This makes Optimus into a flying badass who defeats the Megatron and Starscream and the Fallen in a little less than two minutes. After the last 30 minutes of the movie have been nothing but explosions -- not all of which have any obvious causes -- it's a bit disappointing.
Anything else you want to add?
Well, only that although Sam jams the Matrix of Leadership into Optimus Prime's chest to resurrect him, a Decepticon takes it out like 10 seconds later and Optimus is fine. Just a little weird, is all.
Can you give me any reason I would want to see this film in theaters?
I can't answer every question, man.
BONUS ROUND!
So it's not as bad as shitting your pants?
Marginally. I honestly had to make a pro and con list to figure it out.
Why on earth would anyone make a film about giant robots but have myriad scenes of some random douchebag's first day of college?
I don't have the faintest clue.
Could there have been more trite, less inspired song for Bumblebee to play when Sam says he's going to college than The Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited"?
No. No there couldn't.
Why can't Bumblebee talk, but the other Autobots can?
Because Bumblebee is retarded, but in a Sling Blade kind of a way. This explains how he kills the living fuck out of a Decepticon later.
Why does Sam's mom buy and consume a pot brownie?
Well, Sam's mom was in a coma for the last 30+ years, which explains how she had never heard of marijuana, and why she didn't understand the consequences of eating it even after her husband specifically told her it was a pot brownie (Sam was unfortunately conceived and born during this period). A better question is why any college student in America would be selling pot brownies at an on-campus bake sale, let alone to a middle-aged woman.
A lot was made of how Shia the Beef's hand injury was written into the film. How was this done?
Well, sometimes Shia had a huge bandage on his hand, and sometimes he didn't.
That doesn't sound "written in" at all.
Well, no actual words are used to explain it. It might be more accurate to say it "shows up sometimes."
Why would a robot need to fart, pee, or vomit? And why would it need testicles?
Michael Bay does not understand what a robot is.
What is the point of the character of Sam's college roommate, and why the fuck does he stay for the entirety of the movie?
I have no clue. He's not comedy relief, because that's covered by 90% of the Transformers themselves. He technically leads the Beef to John Turturro, but surely there could have been another way to do that. Besides, Turturro just leads them to Jetfire anyways. It's all extraneous.
Why can only a Prime kill the Fallen? Why can Jetfire teleport? Why can the Fallen wave a staff and make shit fly around? Why do actual cars and Autobots get sucked into Devastator's maw, but John Turturro and that other kid can run around?
Because... because FUCK YOU, that's why.
Can you explain Megan Fox's appeal?
Yes. She looks like a porn star and has the same acting talent as one, yet for some reason she makes mainstream movies. This tonal disconnect is what's so appealing about her.
If you had to pick a single scene that exemplifies Michael Bay's utter disdain for story and continuity, what would it be?
When five Decepticons sink to the bottom of the ocean to retrieve Megatron's corpse. A submarine tracks five "subjects" going down, and when they get there, one of the Decepticons is killed to give parts to Megatron. 5 -1 +1 = 5, right? No, because the sub somehow tracks "six" subjects coming up. Not only is this very basic math, this is the simplest of script errors. It could not possibly have been more than one page apart in the script. And yet Michael Bay either didn't care to notice or didn't give a fuck. "Math? Math is for pussies. My movies are about shit blowing up, man."
Could you sum up the film in one line of its dialogue?
"I am standing directly beneath the enemy's scrotum."
Artikkelen ligger på http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/bonus_robs_transformers_2_faqs.php
It dawned on me at about 4am last night when I was finishing my review that 2500 words might not be enough to fully describe the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen experience. Additionally, I really didn't get much into the plot, as I was so busy explaining why it was a fundamentally shitty movie. So I took a little time to interview myself about the movie's story in order to help you understand what RotF is all about. Hope it helps!
Are there honestly 46 new Transformers in the movie?
I have no fucking clue. It's impossible to tell most of them apart except for Optimus and the Racist Twins (there's another yellow Autobot who I constantly thought was Bumblebee). There could be 46, or there could be 12. I honestly would believe 12 if someone had said that.
What is the status of the Transformers at the beginning of the film?The Autobots have joined the military to hunt down the Decepticons. We're told the Decepticons are "doing things," but they appear to be hiding peacefully when the Autobots show up and brutally murder them.
What?
Yeah. The Decepticons aren't apparently doing anything, then the Autobots show up, the Decepticons run for their goddamn lives, and the Autobots hunt them down and brutally murder them. It's kind of weird.
Why is the U.S. military helping them?
Supposedly to help keep the Transformers a secret from the public. Although since the climax of the last film was a massive firefight involving 50-foot robots and took place over five miles of downtown Los Angeles and the beginning of this film wrecks several miles of Shanghai, China, they seem to be incredibly shitty at their job.
How does the U.S. military help them?
Well, not at all, actually. They just kind of come along with guns and stuff, and act like they're going to help, but the Autobots do all the work.
Why is the U.S. military in this movie at all, then?
Because Michael Bay has a huge erection for jets and tanks and aircraft carriers and considers giant robots only a necessary evil for the film. At least 15 full minutes of the film's 150-minute run time is nothing but footage of jets and tanks and planes without any robots or actual action whatsoever.
How is Sam Witwicky dragged back into the fight?
Well, he finds a fragment of the Allspark shard. You know, the Allspark that he spent all last movie being told he shouldn't give to Megatron, but when he gave it to Megatron, it killed Megatron. That one. Anyways, the shard makes the Beef see symbols and act like more of an spaz than usual.
So the Decepticons want the shard? Why?
Uh... to bring Megatron back to life?
What?
That's what they said.
But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie.
Yes.
...and now it can also bring him back to life.
It's very powerful, this Allspark.
Uh-huh. So what's their plan to get it?
They send a small R/C car who talks like Joe Pesci in Casino to get it.
Shouldn't they have sent Starscream or somebody?
Look, there's another Allspark shard and get that one anyways, so it doesn't matter.
Well, then why do they give a shit about Sam?
The symbols. In his head. That the shard of the Allspark gave him.
They weren't in the other shard?
Apparently not.
So how do the Decepticons plan to get the symbols, I guess?
Well, the Decepticons have very cunningly created a hot chick robot who they enrolled in the same college and put in the same astronomy class as Sam. And they made her a huge slut.
Wait.
Waiting.
There's a slutty Decepticon?
Yeah, she's a real ho. The Decepticons apparently have an incredibly powerful slut-making program, because she has it down, man. Anyways--
Didn't Sam touch the shard and get the symbols stuck in his head on his first day of college?
Yes.
So the Decepticons made a slutty robot to attend his college and enrolled her in classes and put her in on-campus housing just in case Sam ended up being important at some point in the future?
Apparently. It was an elaborate plan, but it sure paid off.
How so?
Well, not at all. The slut-bot made out with him for a little bit then immediately tried to kill him, neither for any apparent motive or gain.
It sounds preposterous.
Doesn't matter, because the Decepticons use the shard piece they do have to resurrect Megatron! He's back! Ooo! Scary!
Why is this scary? All he wanted was the Allspark, and now it's gone.
...because he has a boss! He's called the Fallen, because he's so evil! He has an evil plan to use a machine on Earth to blow up the sun and make energon! Or something! It's not very clear.
Now you're just making shit up as you go along, aren't you?
Best not to think too much about it. Anyways, the symbols in the Beef's head are a map to where this machine exists, so the hunt is on and Sam shortly is captured by other, less slutty Decepticons in one of the many instances where Bumblebee inexplicably abandons the Beef so he can conveniently be in trouble.
Then a robot called the Doctor who speaks gibberish with a German accent shoves things up Shia's nose and gets the symbols.
That's that, then, right? The Decepticons win?
No! Because Optimus Prime saves Sam before they cut off his head, which has another treasure inside!
Really? What is that?
No one really bothers to explain this, actually. Suffice to say, the Decepticons continue to want Sam. Oh, then Optimus Prime fights three Decepticons at once and dies.
Where the hell were the other Autobots during this fight?
I don't know. They were with him before the fight, but then they disappear and show up right after he dies. But they appear sad about Optimus dying. Marginally. I mean, they don't get any screen time or dialogue to convey any feelings or anything, but there's some sad music playing for a little bit afterwards. I assume this means the robots that are off-screen are grieving.
Well, if one shard brought Megatron back to life, can't Sam just use his shard piece to resurrect Optimus?
Yes. He could.
...
...
Well?
He doesn't.
Why not?
I'm not sure exactly.
Then what the hell does he do?
He decides get those symbols that were in his head translated to figure out what the Fallen's up to.
Which Autobot does the translating?
Err... none of them. Actually, it's John Turturro.
What. The fuck.
Yeah, since he was laid off from his super-secret government agent job, he now works in a NY deli and runs a super-popular Transformers conspiracy theory website. Like ya do.
And why couldn't an Autobot translate these symbols?Because Bumblebee is mute and the Racist Twins are poor black robots from the slums of Cybertron who never learned how to read. It's a sad commentary on Cybertronian society. Like The Wire, actually.
Where the hell are the other Autobots?
I don't know. Away. They seem to be unable to be reached. They're probably grieving about Optimnus still. Clearly, John Turturro is the reasonable solution here.
So Turturro translates the symbols.
No, that would be silly. He does, in an incredibly bizarre series of connect-the-dots, lead them to Jetfire, an elderly and deceased Transformers whose corpse is hanging out in the Air & Space Museum.
What good is he dead?!
Ah! Remember the shard? Sam uses it to bring Jetfire back to life!
Not Optimus?
No! This way, Sam can get the symbols translated... so he can, er... find the ancient machine... that can, uh... possibly bring Optimus back to life.
You have to fucking be kidding me.
Moving on! Jetfire teleports everyone to Egypt, including some of the missing Autobots --
Wait, what? Teleports?
Yes, teleports.
Transformers don't teleport.
Jetfire does.
But -- wait a second, he's a fucking jet. He could fly everybody to Egypt, right? And that would make perfect sense for both the character and the franchise!
Well, I guess so. But he chooses not to. The point is Jetfire teleports them all to Egypt where he explains that there used to be 7 or 8 Primes, and they traveled around the galaxy blowing up suns for energon. But they never did it on planets with life.
Well, they had set the machine up on Earth and not noticed all the life running around, and one of the Primes just said fuck it, let's do it anyways. This was evil, so they called that Prime the Fallen and beat the shit out of him although he escaped.
Okay...
So that other mysterious reason that the Decepticons wanted Sam's brain? It's because it contains some very vague clues about the Matrix of Leacdership, which is the device that turns on the sun-exploding machine. The Fallen needs the Matrix to blow up the sun and get his Energon.
Hold on. That's what the Matrix of Leadership does in the movie?
Yes. Works the sun-exploding machine.
I'm fuzzy on how "Leadership" covers that.
I didn't name it. But it does sound a little nicer than "Matrix of Blowing Up the Goddamn Sun."
If I may continue, in order to protect the Earth, the 6-7 other Prime hid the Matrix on Earth and made a tomb with their own bodies. Isn't that cool?
...
...
No. No it is not. If they wanted to protect Earth, why did they leave the Matrix on the planet? They're a space-faring race, they could have hid it anywhere in galaxy! Second of all, what the fuck does making a tomb of their own bodies do? Shouldn't they have stayed alive to protect the Matrix? Or finish off the Fallen? Or just not die and leave Earth and the entire Transformer race in jeopardy?
Uh...
And why hide the Matrix at all? Don't they need Energon to survive? Didn't they say they go to other lifeless planets? These idiot Primes just doomed their whole species for no fucking reason whatsoever! No wonder the Decepticons are so pissed.
...ahem. Eventually, Sam and crew find the Matrix, which instantly crumbles into dust. Sam puts the dust in a sock because he thinks it will bring Optimus back to life.
Grr.
What follows is the most spectacular part of the movie, as Sam and Mikaela try to run the several miles back to the military camp during a massive Decepticon attack where the military has dropped Optimus Prime's corpse.
Why is that awesome? They could drive back in one of the Autobots and be there in a minute or two.
They don't do that.
What?
They walk.
Of course they do. And I assume the Autobots just mysteriously disappear again until a second before a Decepticon is about to kill Sam.
Yes. Exactly.
I am already incredibly sick of this movie, and I'm just typing questions about it. Sam resurrects Optimus, Optimus kills the Fallen, end of story, right?
Pretty close. Sam dies, though.
Really?
Yeah, for a little while. But then the Transformers in heaven send him back because he still has work to do.
Fuck you.
I'm serious.
Fuck you. There's no way.
It's true. The 6-7 Primes are there in the clouds like Mufasa's head in The Lion King, and tell Sam he's awesome and he needs to live again so he can bring Optimus back to life.
I may be ill.
Then Jetfire appears out of nowhere and rips out his own heart right in front of Optimus to give him his elderly old robot powers. This makes Optimus into a flying badass who defeats the Megatron and Starscream and the Fallen in a little less than two minutes. After the last 30 minutes of the movie have been nothing but explosions -- not all of which have any obvious causes -- it's a bit disappointing.
Anything else you want to add?
Well, only that although Sam jams the Matrix of Leadership into Optimus Prime's chest to resurrect him, a Decepticon takes it out like 10 seconds later and Optimus is fine. Just a little weird, is all.
Can you give me any reason I would want to see this film in theaters?
I can't answer every question, man.
BONUS ROUND!
So it's not as bad as shitting your pants?
Marginally. I honestly had to make a pro and con list to figure it out.
Why on earth would anyone make a film about giant robots but have myriad scenes of some random douchebag's first day of college?
I don't have the faintest clue.
Could there have been more trite, less inspired song for Bumblebee to play when Sam says he's going to college than The Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited"?
No. No there couldn't.
Why can't Bumblebee talk, but the other Autobots can?
Because Bumblebee is retarded, but in a Sling Blade kind of a way. This explains how he kills the living fuck out of a Decepticon later.
Why does Sam's mom buy and consume a pot brownie?
Well, Sam's mom was in a coma for the last 30+ years, which explains how she had never heard of marijuana, and why she didn't understand the consequences of eating it even after her husband specifically told her it was a pot brownie (Sam was unfortunately conceived and born during this period). A better question is why any college student in America would be selling pot brownies at an on-campus bake sale, let alone to a middle-aged woman.
A lot was made of how Shia the Beef's hand injury was written into the film. How was this done?
Well, sometimes Shia had a huge bandage on his hand, and sometimes he didn't.
That doesn't sound "written in" at all.
Well, no actual words are used to explain it. It might be more accurate to say it "shows up sometimes."
Why would a robot need to fart, pee, or vomit? And why would it need testicles?
Michael Bay does not understand what a robot is.
What is the point of the character of Sam's college roommate, and why the fuck does he stay for the entirety of the movie?
I have no clue. He's not comedy relief, because that's covered by 90% of the Transformers themselves. He technically leads the Beef to John Turturro, but surely there could have been another way to do that. Besides, Turturro just leads them to Jetfire anyways. It's all extraneous.
Why can only a Prime kill the Fallen? Why can Jetfire teleport? Why can the Fallen wave a staff and make shit fly around? Why do actual cars and Autobots get sucked into Devastator's maw, but John Turturro and that other kid can run around?
Because... because FUCK YOU, that's why.
Can you explain Megan Fox's appeal?
Yes. She looks like a porn star and has the same acting talent as one, yet for some reason she makes mainstream movies. This tonal disconnect is what's so appealing about her.
If you had to pick a single scene that exemplifies Michael Bay's utter disdain for story and continuity, what would it be?
When five Decepticons sink to the bottom of the ocean to retrieve Megatron's corpse. A submarine tracks five "subjects" going down, and when they get there, one of the Decepticons is killed to give parts to Megatron. 5 -1 +1 = 5, right? No, because the sub somehow tracks "six" subjects coming up. Not only is this very basic math, this is the simplest of script errors. It could not possibly have been more than one page apart in the script. And yet Michael Bay either didn't care to notice or didn't give a fuck. "Math? Math is for pussies. My movies are about shit blowing up, man."
Could you sum up the film in one line of its dialogue?
"I am standing directly beneath the enemy's scrotum."
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